8/11/2003
Are you an angry Democrat, dissapointed at the lackluster lineup of presidential contenders for the upcoming 2004 race? Yeah, sure, Howard Dean has the rhetoric down pat, but, looking at his record as Vermont Governor, you can’t even be sure he’s fanatical enough to drive the agenda of the hard left. Kerry has the whole Southern Democrat-thing going for him, but no message and no momentum. The rest are just variations of Dean and Kerry.
So, what can a desperate Dem do? Why, break all the rules, of course; something that liberals are good at anyway! Its time to reinvent this whole race, and we have the perfect ticket for the party that wants it all… The fire, the anger, the rhetoric, the hard liberal stance, with a smattering of foreign policy experience thrown in; just so that, when they win the election, they can win back the French.
What is this perfect ticket? Why, none other than Al Gore and Janeane Garofalo! Move over Tipper, the Gore-ofalo ticket is coming to take Al away!
Think about it, what better team to capture the hearts and minds of Americans? Gore would win the moderates over with his style and “breeding,” while Garofalo would draw the hardcore left like flies to poop!
In this ticket, you have it all: Star power (just like with Arnold), mindless angry rhetoric, environmentalism, foreign policy experience (especially with China!), attitude, and one hell of a tatoo (you figure it out). The only problem is, with such a good chance of winning, what would Hillary do? Hmmm… Perhaps we should think of a new Democratic ticket… I’ve got it! 
1 Comment
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Comment by online roulette — 12/12/2004 @ 11:07 am